


How Wonderful Life Would Be

by darklioness82



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 10:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6799456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklioness82/pseuds/darklioness82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>....if only I was brave enough. What would that life look like for Bernie and Alex?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Wonderful Life Would Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ncruuk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncruuk/gifts).



The sun beat down on the residents of Holby, warming even the coldest of hearts with the promise of summer. Alex Dawson lay on her front in the middle of the lawn; her head was pillowed on her arms which were folded in front of her. She’d long since kicked off her flip flops and the backs of her suncreamed, long white legs were exposed to the sun’s rays. Her short denim shorts and small white vest top left little for the sun to miss. She wasn’t usually a sun-worshipper and rarely had time to stop long enough to relax and enjoy it, but for once she found herself with a day off at the exact right time.

 

“Alex?” A voice called out to her from inside the house and she really couldn’t be bothered to move, even just to acknowledge that she’d heard. “Have you fallen asleep?” The voice sounded amused and she smirked into the crook of her arm, wondering just how long she could play this game for. She was left alone for a few minutes and went back to her calm, clear thoughts of peaceful relaxation. That was until a freezing cold, wet ice cube had been trailed up the back of a leg which shocked her into turning over and sitting bolt upright. She’d let out a yelp at the unwelcome surprise but had only been met with peals of Bernie’s unique laughter.

 

“What was that for?!” Alex complained but it was only a half-hearted gripe, her lover in a playful mood was something she lived for and wished she could bottle it to keep for those times when life was particularly tough on them.

 

“I thought you were asleep.” Bernie said in mock-innocence and crouched down on her haunches so she could speak to Alex at eye level. “Just didn’t want you to end up doing your best lobster impression later this evening.” It was said genuinely enough, had it not been for the offending ice cube to then be popped down the front of Alex’s vest top between her boobs. Bernie smirked widely and Alex reacted by harrumphing loudly.

 

“Just because you can’t sit out here and enjoy the sun doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.” It had meant to be a teasing, light-hearted comment and then Alex had seen Bernie’s face fall. “Sorry,” she apologised quickly.

 

“I really wish I could but I’ve got to pick Charlotte up from her dad's soon. You’d still be welcome to join us?” It was only a chat over coffee and lunch and maybe a stroll in the local park afterwards, seeing as the weather was in their favour today.  

 

“Thanks for the offer and I will do one day. You both need some proper mother-daughter time alone, get your relationship back on track before we add me into the mix.” Alex had reached out and taken one of Bernie’s hands in her own, offering her some physical support along with her words.

 

“I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t alright. She does want to meet you, you know?” Bernie squeezed Alex’s hand in return, reassuring her that she had genuinely meant it.

 

“I know. I’m just not sure I’m ready for the whole step-parent thing… not just yet.” Bernie smiled at her partner, proud that Alex had accepted her lover still came with certain responsibilities, no matter how much baggage she’d managed to offload during the few months they’d been apart. But they’d also realised that they were in it together because Alex came with her own issues and Bernie had agreed to share in them too, just as Alex had done so for her.

 

Such as buying out Alex’s estranged brother to keep this house, which had been their mother’s. It wasn’t a permanent solution but it gave Bernie somewhere to put her share of the divorce settlement when it came through and it was an example of the commitment they’d made to each other. Besides, it was close enough to the hospital for work and for Bernie to see her kids and begin to rebuild her fractured relationships with them. Charlotte had come round to things quickly enough but Cameron had been the biggest challenge and Bernie was still struggling to find a way forward without pushing him further away in the process.  

 

“There’s fresh tea in the pot and a sandwich wrapped up for you in the kitchen.” Bernie’s demeanour had shifted a gear and Alex knew that she was preparing herself to leave.

 

“You didn’t have to….”

 

“I know. I wanted to.” Bernie leaned towards Alex, shifting herself more fully onto her knees, and the younger woman met her halfway in a kiss. It had meant to be chaste but Bernie really was torn between enjoying some rare down time with her lover and catching up with her daughter. Her left hand snaked up Alex’s vest top and cupped her right breast, immediately seeking out her nipple and pinching it between her thumb and forefinger. Alex broke off their kiss and gasped aloud.

 

“You’re such a tease Bern!” The older woman smirked shamelessly. “Go, before I’m tempted to make you very late.” Alex punctuated her command with a quick but firm kiss to her lover's lips.

 

“I really do wish I could stay.” Bernie tucked the bit of Alex's grown-out fringe, that refused to stay behind her left ear, back in its place. 

 

“There’ll be other days. Besides, it gives you an excuse for not cooking tonight.” Alex caught Bernie's hand from the cheek she'd been briefly resting it on and pressed a kiss into its palm. 

 

“And thank goodness for that! Really, you have the better end of the deal, you've sampled my cooking….” Bernie stood up and winced as her knees cracked in protest.

 

“As long as you continue to do the washing up afterwards, I’m happy with the arrangement. Now be off with you, you're standing in my sun!” 

 

***

 

Contrary to her desire, Alex hadn't spent the whole afternoon lounging in the sun. She'd already made a start on clearing some of the overgrowth that had built up while her mother had been too ill to keep on top of it. Hence why they now had an actual lawn instead of a metre high carpet of weeds! 

 

Once they completed on the purchase of the house, they might consider selling it reasonably soon after, depending on what they decided to do with their careers and the future in general. She and Bernie had spoken about it a few times and there were several options open to them, but for now they were happy just to reacquaint themselves with each other while they waited for all the paperwork to go through on the divorce and then the house. 

 

Alex perched on a kneeling mat by the shed and dug out some weeds in the flower bed next to it. She put the offending plants into a plastic bucket ready to be tipped into the garden waste recycling bin out the front later. 

A casserole was on a low heat in the oven, ready for whenever Bernie came back from her afternoon out with Charlotte. In hindsight it hadn't been the most appropriate meal for such a warm day, but she'd already bought the ingredients earlier in the week, before this surprise warm spell had hit the UK.  

 

“We're back!” Alex just about heard Bernie's voice from the kitchen to where she was at the end of the garden, so she finished off the bit she was doing before stopping and standing up. By the time she turned around to head inside to greet her lover, she came face to face with with a younger version, only with much longer hair and a small, shy smile on her face. Alex stared at the young woman in surprise before Bernie caught them up. She shrugged her shoulders and gave Alex an apologetic smile. 

 

“Hi, I'm Charlotte.” The younger blonde stuck her hand out for Alex to take. 

 

“Alex,” she quickly pulled off her gardening gloves before she responded in kind and hoped the nervous pounding of her heart wasn't obvious. 

“I'm sorry. I know Mum said to leave it but I just wanted to meet you, get it over and done with. If you know what I mean? Not in a bad way of course.… Sorry, that's probably all come out completely wrong?” Charlotte shot her mum a ‘help me’ look and, in a moment that would have been hilarious if not so completely awkward, so did Alex. 

 

“Shall we sit down and talk properly over dinner and perhaps a bottle of wine?” Bernie suggested helpfully to buy each of the special women in her life a chance to gather their thoughts. 

 

“Err, yes. It's ready and there's plenty to go round. I'll just err… tidy this and myself up and then dish up.” Alex spoke more to Bernie than Charlotte, although she had to do it through the younger woman because she was still stood slightly awkwardly between them. 

 

“I'll set the table, are you both okay eating out here or would you rather go indoors?” Charlotte nodded and Alex gave Bernie her verbal agreement. By some unspoken agreement Charlotte went to help her mum and left Alex to steady herself. This had, after all, been sprung on her rather suddenly.

 

Alex was reasonably sure that Charlotte would turn out to be a pleasant and polite young woman, she  _ was _ Bernie’s daughter after all. She just didn't know how she'd stand up to her scrutiny as her mother's partner; the person her mum had left her father for, the one who'd broken up their family, and her decidedly  _ female _ lover. What if Alex wasn't good or interesting enough? What if Charlotte simply took an instant dislike to her, or vice versa? 

 

Alex had just about finished putting her tools away in the shed when Bernie came back out, only this time she was alone. 

 

“I am sorry about Charlotte, she insisted and I thought that maybe she was right. The longer you had to think about it, the bigger an issue it would become.” Alex had been ready to protest but realised that Bernie had a point. 

 

“Is this a common theme with the women in your family because I think I'm only just beginning to realise what I signed up for!” Bernie chuckled. 

 

“Are you sure you're okay about this? I can run her home now if you're really uncomfortable?”

 

“Yeah, I'm okay. Nervous but fine.” 

 

“If it counts for anything she's just as nervous as you.” The ‘ _ me too _ ’ was left unspoken. Bernie placed her hands on her lover's hips and pulled her in close. “And I don't think you have anything to worry about.” She leaned forward and kissed Alex soundly. The younger woman couldn’t help but respond and brought her hands up to Bernie’s cheeks. Her lips eventually gravitated to that magic spot, just below Bernie’s left ear, and her lover’s sharp intake of breath indicated that she’d hit the mark perfectly. Alex glanced up as she was about to progress to the shell of her ear and she caught movement in the kitchen out of the corner of her eye. It instantly reminded her that they were not alone, so instead she whispered in Bernie’s ear. 

 

“Don’t react but I think we have an audience.” Bernie let her head fall onto Alex’s shoulder. 

 

“Bugger.” 

 

“Indeed.“ Bernie pressed a kiss into the side of Alex’s neck before she righted herself. 

 

“Best get on with it then. I believe you’re dishing up?” 

 

***

 

Dinner had gone surprisingly well, although it seemed they’d stuck to safe subjects like what Charlotte was studying at university and what sports she played, as well as her other hobbies and interests. She’d asked a little about what it was like in Afghanistan for Alex, and Bernie had chipped in with an additional point of view and some anecdotes from time to time. It was the first time that Bernie had actually answered Charlotte’s questions, rather than giving her the brush off, and she realised that perhaps she hadn’t given either of her kids enough credit to accept what she had to tell them about the harsh realities of her life in the army. 

 

“I saw you two kissing earlier.” The younger blonde suddenly declared and the two older women braced themselves for a difficult conversation. 

 

“I’m sorry….” Bernie started to apologise automatically, desperate not to fall out with her daughter again. 

 

“No, I mean… I don’t remember ever seeing you kiss Dad like that. Or hug, or anything affectionate really. You just seemed to exist in each other’s space but sort of, on the edge. But you two, it’s like... you’re completely in sync, that one couldn't exist without the other. The way you are with each other is so different. You really love each other don’t you?” Alex and Bernie looked at each other in surprise, not really sure how to begin to answer Charlotte’s observation. 

 

Bernie had already told Charlotte that she’d loved her father once upon a time and that their marriage had just fizzled out over time. And that Alex had come along at a time when Bernie had already realised it but hadn’t the courage to rock the boat, especially as Charlotte had still been in school at the time and so much younger than now. Bernie reached for Alex’s hand across the table and her lover followed her lead, they had no reason to hide now. 

 

“Yes, we do. Very much so. Are you okay with that?” Charlotte nodded at her mother in confirmation.

 

“You know Dad’s just smarting because all men are little boys at the heart of them and it’s like… It’s like someone played with a toy he no longer played with, but just didn’t want anyone else to play with it either? Especially if they played with it more, looked after it better and loved it harder.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t have quite put it like that but I see your point,” Bernie retorted. 

 

“I can certainly tell you’re a psychology student,” Alex remarked dryly. A gentle hum of laughter crept round the table until Bernie couldn't hold it in any longer. She did try to suppress her natural laugh when she could but this whole thing felt like both a huge weight off her shoulders and a bit ridiculous at the same time. Alex and Charlotte only laughed harder as Bernie really let go and they were lucky that no wine had been spilt in the process. 

 

***

 

Bernie put the last of the dishes on the draining board and dried her hands on the towel that had been slung over her shoulder when she'd begun washing up earlier. Alex's hands appeared from behind her and settled on her hips, a nose and pair of lips then nudged at the right hand side of her neck. 

 

“Coffee?” Alex placed a gentle kiss to Bernie's neck and then stepped away. 

 

“Ooh, I wouldn't say no.” Alex playfully patted her lover on the bum and removed the tea towel from her grasp. 

 

“Go on then, sit down and I'll bring it out.” She playfully flicked the tea towel at Bernie as she retreated into the living room. Several minutes later and with a gentle clattering of cutlery and crockery, Alex appeared in the living room doorway with a tray laden with everything they'd need. “Do you want a biscuit?” Alex asked unnecessarily, knowing that Bernie would never refuse a biscuit when offered. 

 

“Why not?” Alex set the tray on the coffee table and went to fetch the biscuit jar, leaving Bernie to pour out the coffee from the percolator for them both. Alex returned and placed the jar alongside the tray before leaning over Bernie on the sofa. For a split second the older woman was confused until she felt the freezing cold wetness of an ice cube travelling down her back underneath her top. 

 

“What the?!” she shrieked in response and Alex fell on the floor crying with laughter. She didn't think she'd ever heard Bernie shriek before and continued as her lover struggled to rid herself of the offending ice cube. “Oh, I see… very funny!” Bernie said once she'd sorted herself out. She leapt from the sofa and hurled herself at her lover, straddling her at the waist. They proceeded to have a mock fight with tickles and kisses until they both were breathless from the laughter and exertion. Bernie leaned into Alex's face, her wavy blonde locks hanging down over each shoulder and a look of pure love shone in her eyes. 

 

“Can we have this forever?” Alex asked her lover seriously as she placed her hands on either side of her face. 

 

“Are you brave enough for that?” Bernie whispered thickly and leaned even closer. 

 

“I think I might be.” Their lips met in a passionate kiss which continued long after the coffee had gone cold and the offending ice cube completely melted. 


End file.
